A woman is second-guessing plans to go on a family vacation after her mom laid down one unacceptable ground rule.
Taking to Reddit‘s “Am I the A–hole” forum, she wrote that she had started planning the trip, which would include all of her adult cousins.
The idea was to continue an old family tradition and rent a beach house. She said it was going to be the first time they all got together for a vacation since 2019. However, in her post, she explained that her mom took over and made things very awkward.
Her mom rented a house without telling anyone else and started making demands.
The Redditor explained that her mom didn’t want the woman and her fiancée to share a bedroom. During a call with her mom, the woman said that she put her foot down and “told her that wasn’t going to happen.”
She added that she and her partner “lived together for over two years, own a house together, and are getting married in 6 months (3 by the time of the trip). We even went on a family cruise last year and no one had any issues with us sharing a room.”
She thought that the issue was solved. However, she later learned that her mom had “already booked a house.” Since she booked the home, the mom said that she got to decide the sleeping arrangements and that she would not let her daughter sleep with her future-wife.
“I asked her why she didn’t tell me earlier, and she said her original ‘preference’ was her way of communicating that,” she explained. “I told her that wasn’t a rule, it was a preference, and I had set a boundary. She said since she booked the house, she can treat it like her house and set the rules.”
The woman explained that her mom didn’t support her relationship with another woman.
Despite her mom’s opinion, the woman noted that they still had to pay to stay in the house. Her only two options were to go and sleep separately or to pay an extra $300 to stay in a hotel.
“The only reason I’m even considering going is for my special needs brother, who is really excited about this trip,” she admitted. “Otherwise I’d just skip it.”
While her partner was willing to accept the rule for her brother’s sake, the Redditor admitted that she was “struggling” with it.
In a follow-up message, the woman explained that her parents had an issue with her relationship since she was dating another woman. As a result, they believe that the relationship “is a sin” and might not even come to the wedding.
Others agreed that attending the family vacation would be a mistake.
She wanted to know if it was fair to skip and got reassurance from fellow Redditors.
“This reeks of homophobia. I’m so sorry. I’d take the money you were spending on this family vacation and put it towards your honeymoon,” one person wrote. Another agreed, adding that the brides should save money by “not inviting bigots to their wedding.”
Others agreed. One user pointed out that her mom “will keep trying” to control her if she gives in.
Another pointed out, “If you refuse to go on this trip, then the fixed cost will be shared among fewer people. Your mother’s attempt at control will cost her actual money. Best choice you could possibly make!”
“I wouldn’t go,” yet another person wrote, saying that the mom was on a “weird power trip.” They added, “You’ve stated that they don’t support your relationship with the person that you will literally be spending the rest of your life with. This is just one of many times they will try to separate you two or exclude your fiancé. Choose your partner and your peace.”
Posted To:Human Interest Reddit